


On The Cusp

by left_uncovered



Series: Nowhere To Hide From These Bones [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Hand Jobs, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Sexual Frustration, if you squint you can see michael pining while jeremy remains totally oblivious, overwhelmed jeremy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-03 08:24:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10963404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/left_uncovered/pseuds/left_uncovered
Summary: It should be weird, for his best friend to be jerking him off because a super computer made him sexually dysfunctional, but it isn’t. It’s just – Michael, who he trusts more than anyone in the world. And this is just another thing they do together, like video games or paintball or rollerblading.Jeremy hasn't touched himself since the SQUIP conditioned him not to. Michael finds out and lends a hand.





	On The Cusp

**Author's Note:**

> Let Jeremy Heere Have An Orgasm 2k17
> 
> ETA: There is now a [sequel](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14764697) to this, written from Michael's POV the morning after.

It’s been two months and three days since Jeremy last got off. Not that he’s counting or anything. Although if he were, it would be easy: just start from the day he got his SQUIP. But he’s not. Honestly.

From his beanbag opposite Jeremy’s, Michael continues jamming down on his controller, oblivious.

Jeremy refocuses on the screen, but it’s too late. His character is already being thoroughly pummeled, and his health is rapidly falling.

“Ugh! God.” He tosses his controller before he’s even lost – which he does, in the next ten seconds. Michael lets the screen blink Game Over for a while before he turns to Jeremy.

“Okay, what’s up with you? You’ve been acting really high strung lately.”

So not so oblivious maybe.

Jeremy shrugs. There are some things it’s probably better he doesn’t share with Michael. He doesn’t really know where this sudden sense of boundaries is coming from, but it’s probably best to listen to it. “Can we just play?”

“Not if there’s something wrong,” Michael says. He scoots closer. “Come on. What’s going on?”

It’s nice that he's so concerned, but there’s nothing he can really do about it anyway. Jeremy doesn’t see the point in telling him.

“It’s nothing, I swear,” he says, and when Michael still doesn’t relent, “If it gets worse, I’ll tell you about it, okay? But you don’t have to worry about anything now.”

Michael still looks skeptical, but he restarts the game.

“I know you’ll crack eventually,” he says, pointing with his controller. “You always do.”

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Michael asks again. It’s 2 AM, and they’ve settled into bed. Michael is squeezed in next to Jeremy on his twin. He’s trying valiantly to maintain some space between them, but Michael isn’t having it.

It’s been happening more often lately, them sharing a bed. They used to do it all the time, growing up, until Jeremy had put a stop to it in seventh grade. They’d started again after the SQUIP. It was hard to sleep otherwise. It was normally a good arrangement, at least until. Well.

“I’m fine,” Jeremy repeats.

He is! He’s just trying to hide his boner from his best friend while dressed only in a t-shirt and boxers. Michael spooning him from behind isn’t really helping, either. But he’s not gonna think about that.

“You just seem really keyed up.”

Jeremy blows out a breath. “I’m just…frustrated.”

“Frustrated? By what? School?” Michael reaches out and runs a soothing hand through his hair. It’s nice. Jeremy leans into the touch.

“No. Like.” He takes a deep breath. The comfort of Michael’s fingers in his hair is definitely luring him into a false sense of security. That was probably his plan all along. Whatever. Might as well just say it. “Like, _sexually_.”

There’s a long beat of silence, and then Michael, the fucking traitor, starts _wheezing_. He’s pressed up all along Jeremy’s backside, so Jeremy can feel his laughter vibrating all the way through his back and into his ribs.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me. Why don’t you just take care of it how you always do?” He peels away from Jeremy’s back and lies next to him instead, nudging his arm suggestively. Like it’s the funniest thing in the world that Jeremy’s unable to do anything about his perpetual half-hard-on.

“It’s not funny!” Jeremy protests. “I haven’t gotten off in like, two months, okay?” he says, then immediately regrets.

But Michael has stopped laughing, so at least he understands the gravity of the situation.

“Why not?”

Jeremy barks out a laugh. “Why do you think? There were a lot of things I didn’t do then.”

“Wait. Do you mean – your SQUIP – it –?”

“Slouching wasn’t the only thing I got shocked for. That’s all I can think about now, whenever I try.”

“That’s fucked up.” Michael sounds like he’s ready to pry his brain open and start fighting the vestiges of his SQUIP.

“Yeah,” he says pathetically.

“I’m sorry.”

Jeremy scoffs. “What are you sorry for? I’m the one who wanted to take it. Look, can we not talk about this anymore?” All he wants to focus on is willing his boner down so he can go to bed.

He’s shifting around, trying to make himself comfortable (spoiler alert: no position is comfortable when you’re half-hard) when Michael blurts out, “I could help.”

Jeremy freezes.

“You know. If you want,” Michael adds quickly.

And then when Jeremy doesn’t answer, a sigh. “Or not. Sorry. That was stupid.”

He almost sounds disappointed. Jeremy snaps back to reality.

“Wait wait no! Help how?”

“Don’t be an asshole, Jeremy. It was just a suggestion.” And great, now Michael’s pissed at him.

“Well, I’m seriously considering your suggestion!” Uh oh. Where did _that_ come from? “Help how?”

He sits up so he can look at Michael, whose whole face is red, visible even in the low light from the bedside lamp. “Just. Help you get off?”

Jesus Christ.

“Like give me a – a –” His voice drops to a whisper. “A handjob?”

Michael won’t meet his eyes. “I mean, if you want…”

Jeremy purses his lips. Well, he definitely doesn’t want to keep _not_ having orgasms. He’d gone from once a day to none in two months, and it’s kind of grating on him. He has, like, 60 orgasms to catch up on. And if someone has to do it, he’d rather it be Michael. It’s not like he’s bad looking, and they already do everything together anyway. Jeremy grins. It’s actually the _perfect_ suggestion. Michael’s a _genius_.

“You would do that for me?”

Michael just nods.

“All right then.” He lies back down. “Let’s do this.”

“All right.” Michael echoes. “Close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re clearly nervous, and this might make you less nervous.”

Well, he’s not wrong. Jeremy closes his eyes.

“Take a breath.”

Jeremy cracks one eye open and grins at Michael. “You’re really into this ordering me around thing.”

Michael just smacks him lightly upside the head.

“Fine! Fine.” He makes a show of taking a deep breath, holding it, and letting it out.

Michael is quiet for a long moment. Jeremy’s about to ask him if he’s planning on doing anything, when he feels his hand playing with the hem of his boxers.

“This okay?”

“Yeah. Go for it.”

And then Michael’s pulling off his boxers, and taking Jeremy’s cock in his grip. Jeremy’s hips jerk up into the touch.

“Ah!”

Michael laughs, a quiet delighted sound. “Someone’s eager.”

“Shut up.”

“You excited for your first orgasm in two months, Jere Bear?”

Jeremy elbows him. “Shut _up_.” But he’s smiling now, hasn’t felt this relaxed in a long time. The normalcy of Michael teasing him is comforting. It should be weird, for his best friend to be jerking him off because a super computer made him sexually dysfunctional, but it isn’t. It’s just – Michael, who he trusts more than anyone in the world. And this is just another thing they do together, like video games or paintball or rollerblading.

“What do you like?” Michael asks.

Jeremy feels his face heat up. “Just slow to start. And I’m kind of sensitive on the head.”

Michael starts jerking him off in tight, slow strokes, just like he asked. He lets out a contented little sigh.

“Like that?”

“Yeah,” Jeremy says. It’s not really getting him anywhere right now, but it feels nice, and he’s always liked the diffuse pleasure before the build to orgasm.

“Could you play with my balls a bit? Don’t squeeze too hard, just – touch me there?”

“’Course.” Michael rolls Jeremy’s balls gently in his palm, while his other hand continues its long, slow strokes on his cock.

“Oh, that’s good,” Jeremy sighs. He stretches out his neck and spreads his legs wider. He feels like he’s floating, high on the gentle warmth that’s settled in his belly. It’s so good to not have to think for once, to not have to worry about his body, to just lie back and let it happen.

And then Michael twists his hand on the upstroke, getting a lot of pressure on the head, and Jeremy feels like he’s been shocked.

But in the good way. Not the SQUIP way.

Michael must hear his breath catch, because he can practically _hear_ the smirk in his voice when he asks, “Good?”

“Yeah.” His voice comes out all rough and breathy, like something out of a bad porno.

Michael does it again, keeps doing it until the pleasure starts building. He’s always been sensitive, but now, after months of not touching himself, it’s almost too much.

When Michael gathers up the precome on the head, Jeremy can’t help it, and his eyes snap open. He’s not attracted to his own dick, because _ew_ , but Jesus Christ, he doesn’t think he’s ever leaked this much before. Michael is stroking him faster now, using his precome to slick the way, and Jeremy has to bite his lip to muffle the high, needy sounds.

“Jeremy,” Michael says, exasperated. “I know you’re literally never this quiet. You can make noise. Nobody else is home.”

Jeremy protests, “No, no, I’m – fuck!”

Michael locks eyes with him, just as he swipes his thumb right over his slit.

“See?” Michael says, grinning. “Was that so hard?”

“Clearly,” Jeremy pants, gesturing to his dick. He’s aiming for levity, but it’s kind of tough right now.

When Jeremy gets himself off, he usually likes to stop after a few good pulls, give himself time to calm down before starting up again. Michael doesn’t stop, though. It’s a new feeling, to have his orgasm building so quickly, low and urgent in his belly. He can feel the tightness of his balls, the tenderness of his cock, more sensitive with each of Michael’s strokes.

“I’m close,” he chokes out. “Michael, I’m so close, I – I – _oh_.”

He’s going to come. _Michael’s_ going to make him come. It occurs to him that this is the first time anyone else has been in control of his orgasm, and the thought strikes him with a strange anxiety.

Look, Jeremy loves orgasms. Loves the bright, white-out pleasure, the sweetness of the build and release, the way his mind goes blissfully blank, and all he can focus on is the raw, heady feeling of it. Even loves touching himself as he comes down, until he’s oversensitive and twitchy.

But he hasn’t had an orgasm in months, and now, totally exposed, he finds he’s almost afraid to, afraid of the intensity of it. He doesn’t know if he can do that again, especially in front of someone else. He screws his eyes shut and hopes Michael thinks he always hyperventilates like this when he’s jerking off.

He clearly doesn’t, because his hand slows on Jeremy’s cock. “Are you okay?” he asks.

Jeremy opens his eyes. Michael is hovering over him, brown eyes filled with concern. If Jeremy could blush harder, he would. Is there anything more mortifying than your best friend witnessing you freak out over a fucking orgasm?

“Yeah,” Jeremy says, nodding too quickly.

Michael doesn’t look very convinced.

“Do you want to stop?”

“No!” His voice fucking _cracks_ , that’s how wrecked he is. If Michael stopped now, he’d just be left with probably the most painful case of blue balls in the history of humanity. “No, I just – fuck, this is so embarrassing.” He turns his face away.

“Hey, no, Jeremy, come on.” Michael gently turns his cheek, so they’re face-to-face. “First of all, I already know every embarrassing thing about you. Second of all, I swear I won’t laugh at you. I just – I just want to make you feel good, okay?”

God, Jeremy doesn’t deserve this. “You _are_ making me feel good,” he says, then sighs. “I guess I just – it might be too much, you know? I haven’t – for months. And – and – it’s always really intense for me, when I do, and I don’t know if I can, you know. Handle it.”

“Do you want me to go slower?”

“No, this is fine. I just…needed a minute. I’m good now. Please don’t stop.”

When Michael starts touching him again, Jeremy makes sure to be extra loud, just so Michael doesn’t think that he isn’t enjoying it. It must work, because Michael keeps stroking him until he’s right back on the edge. He’s tensing up, from both arousal and anxiety, mouth open in an o, when Michael says, “You should see yourself.”

His voice sounds low and rough, nothing how like he usually sounds. It throws Jeremy off.

“I – what?”

“You’re all flushed, and your mouth is so red. You look fucked.”

Jeremy thinks he blushes even harder at that. Michael talking dirty to him shouldn’t be this hot, but –

“Tell me more,” he says, before he can stop himself. Michael twists his wrist again, and Jeremy feels a new gush of precome dribble from his cock. It’s too much. He’s so close.

“You look so desperate, Jeremy. Like you wanna come so badly.”

“I do,” he whispers.

“You’re leaking so much. I can see how close you are.”

“So close.”

“You’re doing so well,” Michael says. Jeremy can’t help moaning at the praise. “Are you ready to come?”

“Please,” he whimpers.

Michael massages his balls with one hand, and teases a light finger over his slit with the other. “That’s it,” he croons. “Just let it go. You’re going to feel so good, I promise.”

Jeremy’s hands clench down tight on the sheets, high needy noises escaping his throat as he comes. His orgasm stretches on longer than he’s used to, has him trembling with the newness of it. Michael soothes him through it, stroking him gently until he’s come down, cock too sensitive to take any more touch.

“Jesus Christ, Jeremy,” Michael says. He sounds almost awed. “That _was_ intense.”

Jeremy laughs, still breathing hard. “Yeah, well, imagine how it felt for me.”

“It was good, though, right?”

“Are you kidding me? I probably can’t even move right now.” Maybe he should try denying himself more often, if this is what it feels like when he finally comes. He’d try it if he had the self-control.

“I’m glad,” Michael says.

When Jeremy turns to look at him, Michael is just _smiling_ , unbearably fond. It makes something twist in Jeremy’s gut, and he turns away, confused.

There’s a long silence. Jeremy thinks Michael might say something else, but he doesn’t, just reaches for the tissue on the bedside table and wipes his hands off, before cleaning Jeremy up. Jeremy pulls his boxers back on, suddenly self-conscious. Michael shuts the light from the lamp off.

Jeremy isn’t sure how the vibe between them got weird so quickly. He isn’t sure what he should do – it’s not like there’s a protocol for dealing with the afterglow of a friendly handjob – so he decides he should probably just do whatever he would have if they hadn’t just kind of had sex.

He scoots closer to Michael, who seems to have been holding himself ramrod straight, and lays his head on the warm space between his neck and shoulder. It takes a few seconds, but Michael eventually relaxes, arms coming to rest lightly around him. It’s warm and safe. Jeremy feels better already.

“Thank you,” he whispers into Michael’s neck. “I really needed that.”

“Of course,” Michael whispers back. “Always happy to help. You know that.”

Jeremy doesn’t answer, just smiles against Michael’s skin, until sleep drapes over them both like a heavy blanket.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'd love and appreciate any feedback.
> 
> I'm on [Tumblr](http://softfists.tumblr.com), if you want to discuss important topics such as Jeremy having many orgasms and Michael quietly pining. It's mostly a Dear Evan Hansen blog, but more Be More Chill is beginning to creep in there.
> 
> ETA: There is now some [seriously awesome fanart of this](http://nymm-kirimoto.tumblr.com/post/162149281415/stop-my-sinful-theatre-geek-hands-fanart-for-the), illustrated by nymm-kirimoto on Tumblr.


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